Less than an hour and a half

Wooowooowoooo

Part of me wants to go for the fajita instead of the steak

My last few steaks have all been duds

And I’ve never messed up on fajitas before

Fajita tortilla milk pickles guacamole bell pepper jalapeño

Possibly the nachos route

Probably the taco/burrito route 

Just lost my first adult tooth

Got my first cavity about 6 months or so ago

Just half the tooth was left 

Oddly enough it’s not rotten at all it’s completely white

Got loose over the past week

It was loose  enough it could move in any direction 

It was popping

I was eating a piece of pizza just a few mins ago

When I bit into the crust

The tooth just popped right out

Feels weird

Ofc I did some research. 30s there’s like a 70% chance to lose your first tooth

So I’m not too far ahead. About to be 33

Glad that’s over with 

And the tooth fairy did come! Got $300 in ebt lolololol

About 3 hours until I can go to the store

And I think I’m going to get my favorite stuff

Have a little celebration 

Can’t wait to show people like a little kid lol

This scene is how I imagine work being

like work at a day job to pay for rent and bills

like maybe you don't actually get shot each day

but you do have to actually work so it's kinda worse in a way

I hate the idea of having to spend 40 hours a week doing something that's always a pain to pay for rent and bills

I know that's sorta bitch made of me but I just can't do it

I'm not cut out for the work force

But I always got the overwhelming feeling like when I lived with my grandma and mom when they would go to work something like this scene was playing out then as soon as the gun goes off and they die that's the instant they are walking through the front door

then my skitzo ass would like try to fight demons 15 mins before they arrived so they would make it home alive 

grandma is dead now and mom just works across the street so I can visit her at work any time but ofc I dont live with her so its not like shes getting in an accident or some crazy person goes in her workplace right before the end of shift

but I dont want to be the one dying 15 20 mins before clock out time every single day of work to pay for rent and bills

and the more money you make the worse it is

and having to travel or get a company vehicle makes it all that much worse

Happy 4-20!

It has officially been a year since I smoked last

1 more year to go and i'll be smoking again

Watching my weed news for today

so females are smoking more than males now

and more elderly are smoking than ever before

Makes me question how many more males and female and elderly would be smoking if they weren't on probation

Seeing all the large influx of new groups smoking is cool but damn does it hurt

If I was smoking and saw all the new people smoking it would be awesome

but I can't and everyone else is getting to do what I consider the most fun thing in life

it is exactly like not doing your homework in elementary and having to stay in the classroom during recess

I'm ready to get to go to recess!!

but we're over half way done with april

summer starts soon and I feel like summer is going to go by fast then before we know it it'll be october and october is my favorite month of the year so that'll go by fast then it'll be winter nov dec and jan should go by pretty quick then I just have february march and april

getting done with summer is going to be a major accomplishment

once we get to september i'll only have october november december january february march april 7 months to go finish winter and only 2 months to go

this time next year i'll be DONE !!

I'm tired of smoking cigs I want to hit the gas lol but it's just spending my money as wise as I can until ssi goes up and you know sleeping as much as I can playing ff11 a little and watching the days count down until that special day

this next probation visit I get to pay off court costs that's an extra $50 in my pocket for each month from now on

expecting to have all my supervision paid for around november or december

I'm doing really good

not drinking not smoking not going out after or before my curfew ends

got court costs paid anger management done community service done

All I have left is no violations and showing up when I schedule

if everything goes as planned i'll have 10 more visits

I'm just scared they'll throw something unexpected at me which if you listen to others stories they usually do and that'll suck

usually it's they lose community service hours or lose the money you gave but i've been saving all my paper work that shows what I have paid

they wanted me to come 2 times a month instead of 1 but I haven't heard anything about that yet so seems to be in the clear but I won't know until my next visit

next visit is in about 3 weeks

my probation officer couldn't find any paper work showing I was on the domestic violence caseload it showed I was on the mental health caseload mental health caseload has to visit twice a month

originally I was domestic violence then they switched me over to mental health and said if I did everything correctly I could go back to domestic violence which only has to appear once a month

my new officer said my old officer never filled out the paperwork she was going to speak to her supervisor about it

also

my last 3 officers have all said I could possibly get time credits, 1 month early release, if I do everything as asked, the final decision would be up to the judge

well my new officer said she couldnt find any of that paperwork which I remember signing

she was going to speak to her supervisor about that too

so whenever she does a home visit or if she doesn't do one before my next visit in the office hopefully i'll learn what is going to happen and hopefully it is all good news

like they found all the paperwork and it is all going to go as planned

2 visits a month wouldn't be the end of the world but it is much more stressful

when I could only need 9 or 10 more visits but then that turns to 18 or 20 more visits it's just like uuugggghhhhhhhhh

and 1 month off isn't that much but if I did get off in march instead of april I could have a little 420 party for next year i'm optimistic about the judge saying yes but even if she does say no it's only 30 more days and in all my recent plans I just add the 30 days 

if it's a yes I get the 30 days off and I find that out soon i'll then add the -30 days and we'll be a month closer if it's a no everything stays how it is and finish in april

enough about that, moving on

rn it's 10pm in 24 hours it'll be 10pm on 21st which leaves 9 more hours until 7am 22nd

meaning I have 33 more hours until I can spend my ebt !!

I'm going to buy a BIG FAT JUCY T-BONE STEAK !!

I can't wait I just hope I can get close to a nice medium rare

cooking steaks on the air fryer is still new to me and it always goes either blue rare or well done lol haven't mastered the air fry steak yet but maybe I can get it a little more how I want it soon

usually I go to the store and spend all my money in 1 go

this month i've been considering just spending it as I need food maybe I can make it last longer

last month the only fresh thing I got was 1 package of chicken drumsticks

most of my money went to soda and salads

well this month I can't spend any of it on soda

I may get a salad or two but I think if i'm going to get a lot of salad i'll just buy the packages and do it myself not the premade ones

too expensive

bought 20 tv dinners last month  kinda tired of those still have 4 left but I think I had enough lol

I want to get coffee, steaks, salads, nurri if I can find some

i've been wanting to try some chicharrónes the nice ones with skin and meat then I have to get guacamole to go with but we'll see

if I get eggs chorizo and potatos that's a giant meal that can keep my full all day and it only costs like $4 or $5 to make but kinda getting tired of it since i've ate it so much

I want to get a blender or more specifically a ninja so I can make my own salsa

had a lot of fun doing that a few years back but the ninja went missing(imagine that lololol)

so nice how you just throw a few things in really whatever you have and you can make some bad aahh salsa

4-20, supervision update, ebt on wednesday

friday we can see about ssi going up or staying the same

mom started my income tax and said i'll get around $600 but she still has a few steps to do

but that $600 would be baller to help until ssi goes back up

if ssi doesn't go up I have to call again and start another investigation or whatever so they can do all the math and get it solved

no reason for it to not go up to the full amount

took a few days off from horizon just didn't feel like fishing but I don't really talk about 11 on this page much if I do it's on the main site

whelp that's my update for today

i'll be back tomorrow night or the next night

just trying to make days go by as quickly as possible

get this last year done

and get back to smoking weed !!!!!!

 

3 days until snap, wednesday

6 days until we find out about ssi, friday

brought my giant tote inside tonight and took a very needed bath

made me think of the fountain I had at the college hills house I miss that so much

cooking good food every day of the week, watching all the cheer competitions, cooking on my grill with the fountain running tikki torches on heated fountain I miss it

and I was thinking could I of made it at that house and I really dont think so

which then made me think of when I get off supervision in 11 months

I can't wait to drink a beer and smoke some weed

cigs and energy drinks will hold me over until then

but man it's going to be a party

when april 22nd 2027 finally rolls around

get all my weed people have been saving for me

so I hit it hard af or do I start slow

I want to green out I want to take a giant hit and get blowed 

I want to get paranoid af

but it's going to be so safe when I finally get done with supervision

and that's not even all of it

I can't wait

4 days until snap

7 days until we find out about ssi

I made chicken spaghetti today for my mom and I

it turned out alright

I never like the way my spaghetti turns out but she said it was good

I need to clean my apartment like soon soon like tonight

but im so lazy about it, I just dont want to lol

Can't wait to find out if ssi goes up I'll be major bummed if it doesnt but im ready to know so I can start begging my mom for that $200 ill need if it doesnt

I feel like it went up last month so they should already know it needs to go up this month

I think they do know but I think they found out last month so I just feel like they forgot it needs to go up and theyll forget to make it go up for this next check

like they 100% know it needs to go up

but I think theyre going to forget to actually raise it

but you know it did go up last month and it does need to go up for this next month so who knows maybe they will do it all right and ill get my full check

thats what im hoping

if I finally get my full check it's going to be so crazy

being able to actually pay for everything for the month it'll be so exciting

7 more days and I can check

my mom and everyone else besides my dad is super hopeful they think it will go up I really hope it does go up obv

my dad straight up said it wont go up -_- how lame lol

there's no reason it shouldn't go up

my dad can be really lame sometimes

why would he tell me straight up it won't go up when he knows ive been waiting for it to go up for months and it should go up 100% because im not working and havent worked since february

3 days away from a full year without smoking weed

never thought I could go this long without smoking

but you get on probation or something and want to smoke so bad the only rule is you can't smoke until you finish so it's almost easy to not smoke because you want to smoke so bad

days going by pretty quick but still feels kinda slow

I really like staying up all night until right at about 6:30am then going to sleep until about 3pm

glad it's friday so I don't have to give my sister a ride to work wooowooo

a year without weed on 20th, snap on 22nd, find out ssi on 24th

I'm going to sign into the website and scroll down a little then either explode with happiness and tell EVERYONE or it's going to say 550 again and i'm going to get super bummed if it doesn't update on the 25th it probably won't update and it hasn't updated yet I checked last night. I think i'm getting ssi on 27th so it could update on the 27th but idk

been considering selling my lu shangs so I can quickly buy th4 hands but i'll spend all the remaining gil on ebisu and probably go broke with no items lol

still got like 30 days before I have enough gp so I think I won't sell it and just keep fishing daily for gil

I think angel skins do give more gil than fishing black soles or anything else but I want to get th4 first

I have 300k so 700k to go

was expecting to make 400-600k per day but that was waaay off I'm lucky if I pull in 250k a day

250k a day is literally fishing alll day long and i'm kinda getting burnt out on it

about to hit lvl 80 tonight. doing breams and grims in ssg and i'll stay here until about 84-86 then go back to black soles until 91 or so

then either stay at soles a few more levels or go to the last fish and hit 100

I find fishing fish that cap less than 5 away give slower skill ups

it's no big deal really though I have a long way to go

I'm at 79.8 skill I have 25,000 gp i've turned in 16 lik and 233 gugs and no luck

for some reason I feel like i'm going to get the gug item around 450

think im going to stick with my original plan

get th4 hands first(1m)

use all the gil from fish on gugs until I get that item

then sell lu and use that 3m to buy lik  I can buy 1,000 and hopefully get that item

I should be getting close or done with guild points and boom wait a bit pick up ebisu and done with fishing

from that point i'll probably just go back to angel skins so I can fish cherax and try for angel skin

I hear you can make around 150-200k per hour doing that

Once I have 100 fishing and ebisu 

All the gil I get goes to getting better gear

I'll save up 6m for homam and that goes to a safe spot

then buy things like blau dolch SH+1 int-bolt set better rings and earrings just a bunch of gear upgrades

eventually things like speed/sonic belt and dusk gloves+1

5 days until snap

8 days until we find out about ssi