my dad really hit me hard this last time

when he was saying I should of taken that job offer when he said he could get it for me

and to me when he says it, it sounds like something he would really enjoy

"They would be flying you out to houston and dallas and all over. you would get a company truck."
Okay in my head that literally sounds terrible it sounds like hell and the worst thing ever

I guess to him it is something he would really want

but to me it sounds literally god awful

and the worst part is I can't even tell him how bad it sounds to me

because he'll lash out at me and attack me and my mom verbally about how she raised me wrong what a bad parent she is how sheltered and scared I am and how so many people would want it

"You could be making $8,000 a week! son!!"

why can't he just listen and understand and go from there

without lashing out and attacking myself and my mom

my mom did raise me poor

and I don't know much better

I am happy where I am and i'm sure i'll be happy here for a very long time

I get he isn't happy with where I ended up

and I get he knows its how I was raised and I do too

I've never had luck with money EVER

money seems impossible

you look at all the people online and all of them have plenty more than enough

none of them work

they all already had money or had someone to invest in them and all they have done is have fun and make more

something isn't right about 8k a week it's too risky something will go wrong 

IT DOESNT SOUND PLAUSIBLE

it'll all fall apart when it gets started so why even do it

and I know that's negative but I know how my life goes with actual usd

I put myself in such a low bracket because I was raised poor

if my mom got enough money for cigs and gas and could repair the old clunker every now and then had money for rent

you'd think food was important but growing up it was all as cheap as possible she would get a four for four 3 times a week she would get hotdogs no chili or cheese ramen was something I ate daily

no going out to have fun and if we did it was just for the movie or whatever no drinks no snacks no meal

and it was always like that

and my grandma while she did have more money from all she collected each month she was just about the same

a little more lenient on the food she liked to eat good

my mom just ate and fed me junk

my dad is rich he's worked in the oil field since he was 17 and he's about 65 now

50 years in the oil field

he has hundreds of thousands of dollars

and for him to literally start crying and bawling in tears red in the face talking about how i'm going to be homeless walking up and down the street talking to myself and my mom was such a failure

I'm like dude i've had money before, $200 isn't even enough to buy an xbox or a laptop

it's $200 that isn't THAT much

but me being the one asking and me having literally no money to my name

I have to be sheltered and reserved because i'm asking not giving

he is rich

and he was crying and bawling about $200

i'll never ask him for money again if it hurts him that bad to dip in his massive bank

at this point I probably would go homeless before I ask that man my dad for money again